Problems w/ a Friend (Ex-Friend)
 

Wanted some others opinions on this. Granted Im not going to change my mind on what I think but I wanted to know what you all would do in my predicament.

So I had this friend that I knew for a little over a year. Lets say a year and a half just because. We started to hang out through another one of my friends. I liked hanging out with him and I talked to him daily, whether it was on the phone or in person. I would visit him at his job and stuff and we would just hang out. Normal friend stuff I guess?

Me and him have similar problems too. He goes through random depression stages and I have social anxiety. (locals may not notice, but its there)
So we basically looked out for each other. Helped each other out.

Me and him were good car buds. Im real big on helping friends with their cars. Well, I was till my anxiety got bad. Some reason my anxiety wasnt a problem around him. He knew what triggered it and what didnt.
I worked on his car all the time. It was the time we would hang out together. Of course I didnt charge him, I wanted his friendship as payment. Later on I noticed I was rarely getting that.

Cut the story down a bit; he starts to limit himself to the amount of time we hung out. I know it wasnt me because Id try and invite him to the track weekly and he would refuse. No money, or he was busy. And the times when he said he was busy Id find out he wasnt. The last time he came to the track he brought a girl with him. That pissed me off. 1. He knew I didnt like her. Id get bad vibes from her. (which was right on, she used him) 2. It was probably 2 months that he hadnt went to the track with me, the one time he shows he brings a girl that I hate? You can say it was jealously if you like. Probably was, but that was our time. If we werent working on our cars the track was our time. Trying to not sound g@y. Hahh! My close friends are just that, CLOSE.

Just like all friends we had out ups and downs. Little fights and stuff. Out of know where, just before Christmas he stops talking/texting to me.
Just BAM, nothing. I didnt understand what happened? He left town to visit his family and I heard nothing from him.

Other friends of mine always ask what happen between us. Of course, I have no idea. He tells people that "I" stopped talking to him which is bull.

Now he sends me texts, all buddy buddy again. :rolleyes:
Im sure Ill respond to one of them. It wont be an "open arm" text but Ill say something.
I honestly dont understand why I should give him the time of day again?

I guess hes trying to make a come back and I should be understanding, right? Why leave me in the dark to begin with?

Get on AIM Ray.

All I can say is De Ja Vu

If I were you I would just chill out. you cant have your friends their with you all the time.

P.S. you sound really G A Y with this post haha :D

i agree completely. on both parts of this post. :popc:

Do you want him as a friend?

If yes, then talk to him again.
If no, then tell him that that is not the kind of friendship you want.

People change... sh*t happens. Don't put too much thought into it or it'll drive you nuts!

Agree.
It kinda sounds like he was using you for car work..

Tyler

Im plenty chill. Im not having any problems with this or him. We were friends, we dont talk anymore.
I dont understand why it sounds homo? How else could I possibly explain friendship between 2 people? A friendship IS a relationship, isnt it?

It doesnt cross my mind much. Only time it does is when I get a text from him. Thats it. Then I put my phone back into my pocket.
When he just stopped talking to me, yea it bothered me.

I believe so too.

i know lots of people, and i am very nice with all of them, told by themselves. But where i stand today, i really, really dont believe in friends.
its a thing of life, aint it?

Hey MX6GT89:

I always believe that friends have to be honest with each other. My suggestion is to call him up and see if you guys can go get a pizza or
something - just to talk. Be honest and just let him how you feel (I know guys are not into talking about feelings but like you said - friendships betwen any sex is a relationship! We have to work at them, they have their ups and downs, fallouts are going to happen but bridges can be fixed and relationships restored when you just share how you really feel about the items that got you upset to begin with. You'd be surprised how many times people are blind to what the other person is feeling or going through.

Hope this helps - remember at the end of the day - there is only one thing that matters - your family, your friends and Oh why not - your car!!! (Spoken like a true Fit Freak :rotfl: )

Cat :x

things happen and since you have anxiety (me too so i know how it sux...)
you might just wanna take a step back and let things work out-
talk it out and stuff, say your mind, but remain calm bc otherwise your gonna freak out and that sux major
people with "mental" issues (myself included) can almost act bipolar sometimes for no reason- its not that your bipolar - its just overwhelming inside and you basically unintentionally block everything out
im sure you two will get over it, if you are really friends or the truth maybe that he was just using you for working on your car....?

I wouldnt go that far now. Hahh! But sometimes, it does feel that way.
Its hard to label someone a friend and keep the label on them.

Good info right there. While I do believe in all of it, something inside of me doesnt want to give him the time of day again.

This has happened to me before. But the person it happened with is a closer friend. Ive known the person for a lot longer though. We had a break away and made up. We arent like we were but were still good friends.
I can label him as a friend.

At times I thought it was me causing the problems. And maybe it could be? Maybe Im comparing friends with other friends and expecting more from them?
My guess, it was both of us. Both having similar mental problems could have clashed. And I have a weird type of anxiety. When I was on medication I was good. But, now Im 21 and not in school I dont have insurance. I dropped the medication. The withdraws were insane. :(

But as I said, I really only have 1 good friend.

Dang, look at me opening up my life on Fitfreak. Hahaha!

"You think you know, you have no idea. This is the diary of Raymond Cxxxx"

also- with a car like that who needs a friend?!!

(keep that in mind lol)

Cars, Friends...Two way diffrent things lol. Yeah i love my car and spend all my money on it, and think about it probaly more then anything in life. I still need friends, i think most people are the same way lol.:)

Tyler

most people need people

My cars are my girls. ;) They take all my money and I spend too much time with them.
I know when Im really stressed and need to think, I go for a drive. Its like my cars are there to listen and relieve the stress.

exactly -as crappy as it sounds a drive alone listening to your self can help out crazy..
but make sure you stop after too long or you will go crazy all that talking to yourself lol
know what i mean

Well, I dont talk to myself. Hahaha! Not thats bad.
I listen to music, and..... I love to sing. :D Singing makes me forget about stuff.

To any of the Orlando Fit people that sees me on the road jammin in my Fit.
DO NOT DISTURB.

Im no expert but it sounds like he went after the girl you didnt like and tried to keep it from you till he felt comfortable bringing her around you. Then when him and her fell apart he took some time to himself and is now trying to get back into your good graces. Maybe i read something wrong but thats what i take from it. I say talk to him and just see what happens. If he is a Tool (sorry Tyler) then stop kickin it with him and if he is back to normal and everything is cool then your all good. Thats my thoughts atleast.

Man Ray knowing that we dont know the whole story(both sides) it seems like he was using you for the help. Hopefully the friendship was more than that though. I believe you can always forgive friends...but like you said things wont be as tight as it use to. I had almost the same situation happen to me but he was my friend since I was in 3rd grade and im 21 now. We talk every now and then, but its rare. Anyhow, I have to agree with you on releasing your stress by going on drives. Because I do that often when I have lots on my mind. Its great. Hope things work out man.

-

I think he probably hid that he was with the girl you hate because he knew you didn't like her, and sometimes when you start dating someone new its like you don't even realize the rest of the world is there. I'd say give him another chance