[Fit of RAGE]

No web page would be complete without some mention of the great one...not Wayne Gretzky.....think GREATER than that......

• There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
• When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
• How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
• If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
• Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
• When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
• When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
• Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
• Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
• Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
• In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
• Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
• The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
• When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
• Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.