Who Loves Chuck Norris?!
Who Loves Chuck Norris?!
Some of the FUNNIEST quotes I have ever heard of chuck norris!! I was laughing for a good 2 hours, no joke.
Chuck Norris Facts
Post up some of the funniest ones u think.
Chuck Norris Facts
Post up some of the funniest ones u think.
My personal favorites are:
Churck Norris uses a ribbed condom inside out so that HE gets the pleasure.
Actually, Chuck Norris doesn't use a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Churck Norris uses a ribbed condom inside out so that HE gets the pleasure.
Actually, Chuck Norris doesn't use a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Was a good run, always good to revisit the jokes 
No web page would be complete without some mention of the great one...not Wayne Gretzky.....think GREATER than that......
- There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
- When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
- A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
- In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
- If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
- Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
- When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
- When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
- Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
- Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
- Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
- In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
- Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
- Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
- It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
- Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
- The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
- There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
- When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
- Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
- James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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