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Old 06-17-2008, 06:02 PM
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Who Loves Chuck Norris?!

Some of the FUNNIEST quotes I have ever heard of chuck norris!! I was laughing for a good 2 hours, no joke.

Chuck Norris Facts

Post up some of the funniest ones u think.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:06 PM
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I run THIS
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dang... welcome to 2007 Kevin lol.
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Old 06-17-2008, 06:34 PM
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lol those have been around for EVER thay are funny tho
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:18 PM
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hahha shit is mad old yo! but it still super funny lol i love chuck
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:28 PM
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Dang, welcome to 2008.
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Old 06-17-2008, 09:36 PM
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My personal favorites are:

Churck Norris uses a ribbed condom inside out so that HE gets the pleasure.

Actually, Chuck Norris doesn't use a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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Old 06-17-2008, 10:39 PM
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well SORRY guys i'm not as hip as u guys are lol. It was sent to me and i found it rediculously funny.
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Old 06-17-2008, 10:43 PM
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Yeah that was a huge craze way back when Was a good run, always good to revisit the jokes
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Old 06-17-2008, 11:19 PM
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yeah,
i love the chuck norris things

even if they are older than the internet.
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Old 06-18-2008, 12:48 PM
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A fight I'd like to see: Bear Grylls vs. Chuck Norris
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Old 06-30-2008, 06:23 PM
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i never like chuck norris but i laughed at her funny jokes.. hahahaha.. weirdo!
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Old 06-30-2008, 08:16 PM
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Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.


lol...ive heard some of these before but nice readin the site. thx for the link.
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Old 07-01-2008, 02:38 AM
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No web page would be complete without some mention of the great one...not Wayne Gretzky.....think GREATER than that......
  • There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
  • When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy’s.
  • A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
  • When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  • How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? …All of it.
  • In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald’s in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
  • Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
  • If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
  • Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
  • The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
  • Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  • When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
  • When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
  • When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
  • Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
  • Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
  • Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
  • Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
  • In the beginning there was nothing…then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
  • Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
  • Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
  • Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother’s womb.
  • It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
  • Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
  • The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
  • There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
  • When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn’t walk around people. He walks through them.
  • Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:00 AM
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Good ones!!!

I like the old "chuck norris has counted to infinity - twice"!
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