Originally Posted by afreespirit

Who "writes a check" anymore?

Thanks for the laugh hogwylde!

Originally Posted by phasfit

Little ol' ladies that's who.... just ahead of you in any check out line have a 6th sense that you are in a hurry and even if they could use a debit card they'll pull out the check book just to piss you off!!!!!

Originally Posted by ReeSpeed

The last oil change I did on the fit, I left the old oil in the drain pan off to the side of the garage. My wife kept telling me to dispose of it before someone spills it...I kept telling her that the garage is my space and no one else should be in there... Needless to say, my son (11 years old) has a friend over and they were riding his bike and scooter down from the top of the driveway into my garage (I've told him not to many times). No cars were in there at that time and he somehow managed to run over the drain pan with his bike splashing oil everywhere!

Now, I promptly dispose of the oil right after the change... Anyone know how to get oil out of drywall??

Originally Posted by Lyon[Nightroad]

I save my old liquid detergent bottles to fill with oil and drop off at walmart.

Originally Posted by hogwylde

There's a long running joke between myself, my wife and my neighbor that no matter what little chore I want to do....it turns into a major project. And here's a couple examples.

My wife once decided to surprise me with a new couch and love seat for my man cave since the furniture I had was totally shot. I'm talking pieces of wood were sticking through etc. Now keep in mind, she had the new furniture in the garage and to get them into the basement, I would have to go through 4 doors. We (me and my neighbor) haul the old stuff out. No problem. Then we start to bring the new stuff in. It's getting harder and harder but we've made it through 3 doors and only had one left and it simply won't go. We ended up getting a tape measure only to realize the reason it kept getting harder is that the doorways kept getting smaller and there was simply no way it was getting in! I ended up putting the new furniture back into the garage, brought the old crap back in and sold the new stuff on Craigslist the next day.

And now for tonight.

It was time for me to change the oil in my new Honda Fit. I had the dealership do the first change since I had a coupon (cost me only $5) and decided to do it myself this time since I enjoy tinkering and it's an easy job. Well, the Fit is the LOWEST sitting car I've ever owned at just 6" of clearance but thought I could squeeze underneath. Yea right!

I then went to my neighbor's house to borrow his floor jack but he wasn't home and me and his wife couldn't find it. She recommends I call him when I had a brain fart and thought of my bike jack. I haul the bike jack out only to realize it had somewhat fallen apart and spend the next 20 minutes putting it back together. Crap! The jack works fine but can't go far enough to get under the frame.

I call my neighbor and he guides me to where his jack is. I take it home and it slides underneath perfectly except the car sits so low that I don't have the room to pump it up....crap! Another thing I didn't think of! I then decide to make a little ramp using 2 1x6's figuring I would just stack the two pieces, drive up and voila! LOL...yea right! As soon as they tires touched the boards, the top piece shot out like a missile and I'm surprised it didn't break anything.

I then decided to be SUPER smart and nail the two boards together! I back up a bit and proceed to drive up and the traction of the tires ripped the two boards apart and now I shot a 1x6 with 4 nails down the undercarriage of my car and I'm starting to get pissed. I decided to use just a single 1x6 and thankfully that was enough to give me a little (very little) wiggle room.

I drain the oil and replace the filter and am happy to have finally gotten to the point where I can just put the oil in and have a few beers. And no, I didn't forget to put the drain plug back in!! I started to put the new oil in when I realized I somehow managed to purchase two different viscosities of oil which I used any way because I was way to tired and the car needs to be used tomorrow.

After all this, I think I will pony up the $19.95 from now on and take it to the dealership!! Tonight sort of reminds me of this:

OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR WOMEN:
(1) Pull up to Peak Automotive when it is time for your next oil change
(2) Relax in a massage chair with a glass of wine, soda, coffee, or cappuccino while reading the latest Oprah, Parenting, or Shape Magazine or working on your laptop.
(3) 45 minutes later write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle where the fluids have been topped off, car has been washed, tires rotated, and courtesty inspection completed.

Money Spent
Oil Change: $34.95 (non-synthetic oil change)
Wireless access: FREE
Glass of wine, soda, or coffee: FREE
Courtesy Inspection: FREE
Massage in chair: FREE
Total cost of peace of mind knowing your car is maintained: PEAKFULLY PRICELESS


OIL CHANGE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MEN:
(1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00
(2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.
(3) Open a beer and drink it.
(4) Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. Jack car up.
(5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
(6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
(7) Place drain pan under engine.
(8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
(9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
(10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.
(11) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
(12) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
(13) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
(14) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
(15) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties.
(16)Drink a beer.
(17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.
(18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.
(19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
(20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
(21) Walk to liquor store; buy beer.
(22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
(23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
(24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
(25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
(26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.
(27) Drink beer.
(28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
(29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
(30) Drink beer.
(31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
(32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
(33) Begin cussing fit.
(34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
(35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992).
(36) Beer.
(37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
(38) Beer.
(39) Beer.
(40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
(41) Beer.
(42) Lower car from jack stands.
(43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
(44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23 - 43.
(45) Beer.
(46) Test drive car.
(47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
(48) Car gets impounded.
(49) Call loving wife, make bail.
(50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money Spent
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $40.00
Total: $4165.00 -- But you know the job was done right!

Originally Posted by GuerillaDubber

Hi All! Noob here!
I've never changed the oil in a car in my life. Just got a 2010 fit sport. I am also tall and skinny
Can I DO this!? I'm sure it will be a hysterical first attempt, but after reading this thread, I'd rather learn to do it myself, and save time and money.
So.... Just read the owners manual?!
Wish me luck gents.

Originally Posted by Badwrench

I do everything myself - except changing the oil. Just not worth it.

You forgot to add in your list the driving to 4 different places to get your used oil disposed of.

Originally Posted by SilverbulletCSVT

DIY oil changes are very painless and clean. Buy all the correct and most efficient tools once (under $50) and you are set for life. Buy your oil and filter at a savings and know exactly what and how much got put into your crankcase. I would actually pay a premium for this peace of mind, still DIY'ing even if it ended up costing me more.

How many pay for Mobil 1 or other full synthetic only to have the tech dump in 5W20 bulk oil by mistake (or on purpose at rip off shops - yes this does happen). Think they will drain and replace oil even assuming mistake is caught? Don't count on it.

_

Originally Posted by Badwrench

I do everything myself - except changing the oil. Just not worth it.

You forgot to add in your list the driving to 4 different places to get your used oil disposed of.

Originally Posted by Uncle Gary

I've made nearly every mistake possible over the years working on bikes and cars. I still do as much myself as I can. It beats having to take time off from work sitting in the lounge at the dealership waiting for them to change my oil.

Changing the oil on a Fit is a snap compared to my ex-wifes Chevette. GM installed the oil filter OVER the frame crossmember. As soon as you loosen it (if you can reach it at all), oil would run the entire length of the crossmember and drip everywhere. There was no drip pan large enough to catch all the oil. God, how I hated that piece of junk!