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Ken Rockwell

Old Apr 14, 2009 | 09:06 AM
  #1  
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Ken Rockwell

Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography

Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

A certain brand of high-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
 
Old Apr 14, 2009 | 11:35 AM
  #2  
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LOL! That's awesome. I've spent a lot of time on his site. HUGE amount of information.
 
Old Apr 14, 2009 | 11:45 AM
  #3  
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am i the only one that doesn't think his photos are hot shit?
they are so.... "normal"
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 05:05 PM
  #4  
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I'm with ya kyle, rockwell is a douche bag that thinks his shit doesn't stink.
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 05:22 PM
  #5  
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exactly
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 06:45 PM
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Can Ken Rockwell travel through time?
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 07:03 PM
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haha these are funny. I used to just go to his website to read his reviews on lenses, until somebody advised me that he sucks. But reading reviews from a guy that owns a billion lenses doesn't sound too bad, does it?
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 07:19 PM
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i don't think he's god. but he does offer some good info, and he has a lot of experience with tons of products.
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 07:20 PM
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i like this one:

"Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident."
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 08:23 PM
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Is he like the most interesting man in the world?

Has Ken Rockwell ever lost a sock?
 
Old Apr 16, 2009 | 11:31 PM
  #11  
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he's awesome!!!
 
Old Apr 17, 2009 | 12:26 AM
  #12  
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Never a fan. I have always been a canon shooter. For reviews I like dpreview, the-digital-picture.com, and forums at fredmiranda. Ken Rockwell is to salty for my taste.

Rene
 
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