The 10 Worst Drivers on the Road...
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Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,222
From: San Antonio
The 10 Worst Drivers on the Road...
(I wrote this for another forum, after spending a few days tallying up the most annoying habits around me. Enjoy)
Mr "I never learned how to parallel park."
No, the correct method is NOT to pull in nose first, look around in
confusion, back out, pull in nose first again (still with your rear
bumper blocking the lane), back out, try the sane thing one more time,
and then bark your tires as you tear off in frustration, as if the
civil engineers, irritated drivers queueing behind you, and the
universe were all somehow to blame for your incompetence.
Ms "I can't handle reverse."
We've all seen this lady: Expedition with "Honor Student" sticker,
executing a picture perfect 14 point turn as she tries to back out of
the 'compact only' parking space at Target. It wouldn't be so
infuriating, except her inability to guage distance behind her land-
borne aircraft carrier leads her to stop backing and shift into 'D'
when she is within 9.5 feet of the nearest car behind her.
Occasionally she glares past her cellphone, as if to blame amused
onlookers for her piss-poor spacial awareness.
The Honorary Police Sergeant:
This is the clown who intentionally blocks traffic with his cruise at
exactly the speed limit, knowing fully that his actions will lead to
dangerous clusters of cars, and eventually, a boiling-enraged driver
who is 15 minutes late for an appointment, who will take extraordinary
risks to get past this vehicular cholesterol blockage, placing
everyone on the road at risk. A close cousin of the lane-discipline flunkie.
Ms "Gee, Merging is hard"
We've beat this one up in another thread recently, so here's a brief recap: Refuses to accelerate to mean traffic speed when entering freeway, rather SLOWS while approaching the merge point, hoping that a kind soul will take pity and either slow or slide over to make space in the lane. This, of course, creates a second effect: drivers who CAN merge are stuck behind, covering the inside of the windshield with a frothy spray of spittle, or slingshoting past the hopeless dope.
Mr "Freeze and it won't happen"
This meatbag realizes immediately after proceeding through a stop sign
that traffic was not clear, and you are barrellingtoward his thin,
sheetmetal door at speeds that would make a prize racehorse jealous.
His solution: freezing, as if you are a Jurassic Park T-Rex who
cannot attack that which does not move. You can come to a full stop,
and he remains in stasis, until you finally wave him through. You're
already blocking the lane dude, may as well do so in motion.
Ms "What blind spots?"
That's right, no need to adjust your mirrors, add convex blind-spot
mirrors, or turn your head before whipping the Grand Caravan into the
next lane. Don't worry, the lane will clear for you. And when a
boxed in vehicle in your perception-shadow blares its horn, you must
glare at the offending vehicle for your lack of situational awareness. Chump.
The "double left turn lanes confuse me" driver:
It seems simple in concept: two left turn lanes mean that two cars can simultaneously turn left, arriving in (gasp!) the two corresponding, parallel lanes on at the other side of the intersection. State DOTs often include little dotted guidelines through the intersection to make this maneuver theoretically idiot proof. The reality: A dope in the inside turn lane almost invariably makes the left turn to the outside gaining lane. As a result, you, the consciencious driver trying to reach the outside lane of the gaining street, make a judgment call between two unsavory prospects: Making the left turn from the outside turn lane, hoping the driver in the inside lane is not a mouthbreathing idiot, or make your turn from the inside lane to the gaining inside lane, and immediately stop in the gaining lane, turn on your blinker, and try to move right.
Mr "SNow? It's OK, I have four wheel drive."
This one seems most apparent in areas which receive only occasional snow. The drivers, unaware of the actual uses for 4 wheel drive, lock the center differential and tear off as if it were a 72 degree, sunny day. He'll soon learn that four wheel drive will help you START more easily in the snow/ice. It won't help you STEER or STOP. Guess what: your wide tires won't cut through the snow easily. If you have a high center of gravity and a sloppy handling chassis with solid axles, then at least when you land on the roof, you can make a funny snow angel by opening and closing your doors. For 12 years, the Honda Civic has been the top selling car in Canada. They might know something you don't.
The Attention Deficit Driver:
Mobile phone, screaming kids, 1000W stereo, bobbing head in the lap, diabetic shock*, fumbling with the GPS, drunk/stoned/buzzed/experiencing tantric bliss. I don't care, do what you like... but STAY the F!@# off the road!
* I know it seems a bit insensitive to include this, but if you know you are diabetic, you have an extra responsibility to monitor your insulin levels while piloting 2000-6000+ lbs of steel, moving at 90 feet per second.
And, of course, the SMIDSY idiot:
"Sorry Man, I didn't see you" ("mate" in the UK where this originates).
It doesn't matter that you just ran someone down. You have absolved yourself of responsibility by being really, really sorry. Prove it. Seppuku, NOW.
Mr "I never learned how to parallel park."
No, the correct method is NOT to pull in nose first, look around in
confusion, back out, pull in nose first again (still with your rear
bumper blocking the lane), back out, try the sane thing one more time,
and then bark your tires as you tear off in frustration, as if the
civil engineers, irritated drivers queueing behind you, and the
universe were all somehow to blame for your incompetence.
Ms "I can't handle reverse."
We've all seen this lady: Expedition with "Honor Student" sticker,
executing a picture perfect 14 point turn as she tries to back out of
the 'compact only' parking space at Target. It wouldn't be so
infuriating, except her inability to guage distance behind her land-
borne aircraft carrier leads her to stop backing and shift into 'D'
when she is within 9.5 feet of the nearest car behind her.
Occasionally she glares past her cellphone, as if to blame amused
onlookers for her piss-poor spacial awareness.
The Honorary Police Sergeant:
This is the clown who intentionally blocks traffic with his cruise at
exactly the speed limit, knowing fully that his actions will lead to
dangerous clusters of cars, and eventually, a boiling-enraged driver
who is 15 minutes late for an appointment, who will take extraordinary
risks to get past this vehicular cholesterol blockage, placing
everyone on the road at risk. A close cousin of the lane-discipline flunkie.
Ms "Gee, Merging is hard"
We've beat this one up in another thread recently, so here's a brief recap: Refuses to accelerate to mean traffic speed when entering freeway, rather SLOWS while approaching the merge point, hoping that a kind soul will take pity and either slow or slide over to make space in the lane. This, of course, creates a second effect: drivers who CAN merge are stuck behind, covering the inside of the windshield with a frothy spray of spittle, or slingshoting past the hopeless dope.
Mr "Freeze and it won't happen"
This meatbag realizes immediately after proceeding through a stop sign
that traffic was not clear, and you are barrellingtoward his thin,
sheetmetal door at speeds that would make a prize racehorse jealous.
His solution: freezing, as if you are a Jurassic Park T-Rex who
cannot attack that which does not move. You can come to a full stop,
and he remains in stasis, until you finally wave him through. You're
already blocking the lane dude, may as well do so in motion.
Ms "What blind spots?"
That's right, no need to adjust your mirrors, add convex blind-spot
mirrors, or turn your head before whipping the Grand Caravan into the
next lane. Don't worry, the lane will clear for you. And when a
boxed in vehicle in your perception-shadow blares its horn, you must
glare at the offending vehicle for your lack of situational awareness. Chump.
The "double left turn lanes confuse me" driver:
It seems simple in concept: two left turn lanes mean that two cars can simultaneously turn left, arriving in (gasp!) the two corresponding, parallel lanes on at the other side of the intersection. State DOTs often include little dotted guidelines through the intersection to make this maneuver theoretically idiot proof. The reality: A dope in the inside turn lane almost invariably makes the left turn to the outside gaining lane. As a result, you, the consciencious driver trying to reach the outside lane of the gaining street, make a judgment call between two unsavory prospects: Making the left turn from the outside turn lane, hoping the driver in the inside lane is not a mouthbreathing idiot, or make your turn from the inside lane to the gaining inside lane, and immediately stop in the gaining lane, turn on your blinker, and try to move right.
Mr "SNow? It's OK, I have four wheel drive."
This one seems most apparent in areas which receive only occasional snow. The drivers, unaware of the actual uses for 4 wheel drive, lock the center differential and tear off as if it were a 72 degree, sunny day. He'll soon learn that four wheel drive will help you START more easily in the snow/ice. It won't help you STEER or STOP. Guess what: your wide tires won't cut through the snow easily. If you have a high center of gravity and a sloppy handling chassis with solid axles, then at least when you land on the roof, you can make a funny snow angel by opening and closing your doors. For 12 years, the Honda Civic has been the top selling car in Canada. They might know something you don't.
The Attention Deficit Driver:
Mobile phone, screaming kids, 1000W stereo, bobbing head in the lap, diabetic shock*, fumbling with the GPS, drunk/stoned/buzzed/experiencing tantric bliss. I don't care, do what you like... but STAY the F!@# off the road!
* I know it seems a bit insensitive to include this, but if you know you are diabetic, you have an extra responsibility to monitor your insulin levels while piloting 2000-6000+ lbs of steel, moving at 90 feet per second.
And, of course, the SMIDSY idiot:
"Sorry Man, I didn't see you" ("mate" in the UK where this originates).
It doesn't matter that you just ran someone down. You have absolved yourself of responsibility by being really, really sorry. Prove it. Seppuku, NOW.
Last edited by Occam; Sep 22, 2010 at 09:58 PM.
Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 464
From: Falls Church, VA USA
Ms "Gee, Merging is hard"
We've beat this one up in another thread recently, so here's a brief recap: Refuses to accelerate to mean traffic speed when entering freeway, rather SLOWS while approaching the merge point, hoping that a kind soul will take pity and either slow or slide over to make space in the lane. This, of course, creates a second effect: drivers who CAN merge are stuck behind, covering the inside of the windshield with a frothy spray of spittle, or slingshoting past the hopeless dope.
We've beat this one up in another thread recently, so here's a brief recap: Refuses to accelerate to mean traffic speed when entering freeway, rather SLOWS while approaching the merge point, hoping that a kind soul will take pity and either slow or slide over to make space in the lane. This, of course, creates a second effect: drivers who CAN merge are stuck behind, covering the inside of the windshield with a frothy spray of spittle, or slingshoting past the hopeless dope.
Thread Starter
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Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,222
From: San Antonio
You could also make a corrallary to this...when coming home from Reagan National Airport Tuesday night at 1AM, I was coming up the ramp from the GW Parkway to 395 South. I was starting to accelerate to get onto 395 and had my left turn signal on. As I looked to merge, I noticed a taxi behind me with his right turn signal on. I started to accelerate more to merge onto the freeway when he laid on his horn and floored it and got in front of me slamming on his brakes so he could make the exit, and causing me to slam on my brakes and decelerate. He kept honking the entire time, and I was welcomed back to the DC area. There were no other cars on the road except for ours...what an idiot!
Interferance on the freeway is a large part of why full cloverleafs are being replaced by half-clovers and stacks. Having cars enter and exit from the same temporary lane creates rolling friction. Stacks are more efficient for high traffic loads, and for low traffic, you can use SPUIs or diamonds.
/roadgeek
How about this guy...
"MR. I DON'T KNOW THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY WHEN THERE'S TRAFFIC AROUND, GUY?"
"MR. I'M IN THE LEFT LANE AND SEE SOMEONE COMING UP AND DON'T GET OVER GUY!"
"MR. I DON'T KNOW THE LEFT LANE IS FOR PASSING ONLY WHEN THERE'S TRAFFIC AROUND, GUY?"
"MR. I'M IN THE LEFT LANE AND SEE SOMEONE COMING UP AND DON'T GET OVER GUY!"
Member
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,500
From: New York
And then there's the Wait at the END of the Entrance Ramp guy, leaving no room to accelerate so he has to wait until there are no cars anywhere in sight.
The same type of jerk who, when behind me, will honk at me if I DON'T pull up to the end because I'm leaving some room to get a running start before the merge.
The same type of jerk who, when behind me, will honk at me if I DON'T pull up to the end because I'm leaving some room to get a running start before the merge.
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,295
From: Wandering around.
HAHA... dunno why I didn't reply to this thread sooner, but I encounter those drivers ALL too often, day in and day out... no matter what I drive.
I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what I think about that. An exiting vehicle's goal very soon would be to slow down for the transition to local traffic, while an entering vehicle would need to speed up in the transition to highway traffic. A collision in either case is bad (exiting car not slow enough for local traffic or entering car not fast enough for highway), but imagining a collision with highway traffic scares me silly. But, that being said... if you're gonna brake anyway... why not brake and let the guy that needs to accelerate go. Instead of forcing him to brake and accelerate HARDER/later to catch up highway traffic. What I usually do is lightly brake if I have to on the highway, pull BEHIND the guy next to me, and practically slam on my brakes to slow down. Hopefully, that gave the guy a clue that he can push forward and enter the highway without having to worry (about me, at least). If there's too much traffic entering for me to do that... I'll try to squeeze if possible or pass them all (again, if possible). But, if they all decided to be fast and tailgate each other to the point where I can't do it, I will say "f-em," pass em and take the next exit (and hope I can exit). I have done it before, and it's such a pain in the ass when the next exit is miles away.
SPUIs sound interesting... I guess I've seen hybrid-ish intersections in Ca. But, I guess I like the stacks the most, though they probably require the MOST construction (material, effort and $$$ in general). Works beautifully in San Diego where the 405 and 8 intersect. The 405 has a much higher natural elevation than the 8, so the connector roads are in between levels. But man... you don't want to try to climb from the 8 to the 405 from near standstill... in a 92 hp Mirage.
Cars exiting have priority over cars entering... but he still sounds like a grade A puckered asshole.
Interferance on the freeway is a large part of why full cloverleafs are being replaced by half-clovers and stacks. Having cars enter and exit from the same temporary lane creates rolling friction. Stacks are more efficient for high traffic loads, and for low traffic, you can use SPUIs or diamonds.
/roadgeek
Interferance on the freeway is a large part of why full cloverleafs are being replaced by half-clovers and stacks. Having cars enter and exit from the same temporary lane creates rolling friction. Stacks are more efficient for high traffic loads, and for low traffic, you can use SPUIs or diamonds.
/roadgeek
SPUIs sound interesting... I guess I've seen hybrid-ish intersections in Ca. But, I guess I like the stacks the most, though they probably require the MOST construction (material, effort and $$$ in general). Works beautifully in San Diego where the 405 and 8 intersect. The 405 has a much higher natural elevation than the 8, so the connector roads are in between levels. But man... you don't want to try to climb from the 8 to the 405 from near standstill... in a 92 hp Mirage.
I had an interesting trip to a small city today with relatively heavy traffic... I didn't see any drivers on the road that fit any of those described by Occam..... I can't figure it out, this never happens.
Thread Starter
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Member
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,222
From: San Antonio
HAHA... dunno why I didn't reply to this thread sooner, but I encounter those drivers ALL too often, day in and day out... no matter what I drive.
I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what I think about that. An exiting vehicle's goal very soon would be to slow down for the transition to local traffic, while an entering vehicle would need to speed up in the transition to highway traffic. A collision in either case is bad (exiting car not slow enough for local traffic or entering car not fast enough for highway), but imagining a collision with highway traffic scares me silly. But, that being said... if you're gonna brake anyway... why not brake and let the guy that needs to accelerate go. Instead of forcing him to brake and accelerate HARDER/later to catch up highway traffic. What I usually do is lightly brake if I have to on the highway, pull BEHIND the guy next to me, and practically slam on my brakes to slow down. Hopefully, that gave the guy a clue that he can push forward and enter the highway without having to worry (about me, at least). If there's too much traffic entering for me to do that... I'll try to squeeze if possible or pass them all (again, if possible). But, if they all decided to be fast and tailgate each other to the point where I can't do it, I will say "f-em," pass em and take the next exit (and hope I can exit). I have done it before, and it's such a pain in the ass when the next exit is miles away.
SPUIs sound interesting... I guess I've seen hybrid-ish intersections in Ca. But, I guess I like the stacks the most, though they probably require the MOST construction (material, effort and $$$ in general). Works beautifully in San Diego where the 405 and 8 intersect. The 405 has a much higher natural elevation than the 8, so the connector roads are in between levels. But man... you don't want to try to climb from the 8 to the 405 from near standstill... in a 92 hp Mirage.
I'll be honest, I'm not really sure what I think about that. An exiting vehicle's goal very soon would be to slow down for the transition to local traffic, while an entering vehicle would need to speed up in the transition to highway traffic. A collision in either case is bad (exiting car not slow enough for local traffic or entering car not fast enough for highway), but imagining a collision with highway traffic scares me silly. But, that being said... if you're gonna brake anyway... why not brake and let the guy that needs to accelerate go. Instead of forcing him to brake and accelerate HARDER/later to catch up highway traffic. What I usually do is lightly brake if I have to on the highway, pull BEHIND the guy next to me, and practically slam on my brakes to slow down. Hopefully, that gave the guy a clue that he can push forward and enter the highway without having to worry (about me, at least). If there's too much traffic entering for me to do that... I'll try to squeeze if possible or pass them all (again, if possible). But, if they all decided to be fast and tailgate each other to the point where I can't do it, I will say "f-em," pass em and take the next exit (and hope I can exit). I have done it before, and it's such a pain in the ass when the next exit is miles away.
SPUIs sound interesting... I guess I've seen hybrid-ish intersections in Ca. But, I guess I like the stacks the most, though they probably require the MOST construction (material, effort and $$$ in general). Works beautifully in San Diego where the 405 and 8 intersect. The 405 has a much higher natural elevation than the 8, so the connector roads are in between levels. But man... you don't want to try to climb from the 8 to the 405 from near standstill... in a 92 hp Mirage.
The problem is that it takes just one asshole who won't get up to the speed of traffic to bottle the whole thing. Much like communism, a cloverleaf is a perfect design aside from that whole "humans are involved" bit. Some newer or revamped clovers at least use a side feeder road to keep this jostling from affecting the main driving lanes, but they require quite a lot of space.
Member
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 216
From: California
I choose to drive exactly the speed limit.
I'll pick up the pace to 5 over if there's a queue behind me, but it's not my fault people think that a limit of 55 means go 60.
I want better fuel economy. My car has short gearing, I'd rather not be at 3700 rpm to go 65 mph
Also my car is low with crazy stiff suspension, my car feels plenty quick at 55 haha
Just because I drive the speed limit doesn't make me dangerous.
I'll pick up the pace to 5 over if there's a queue behind me, but it's not my fault people think that a limit of 55 means go 60.
I want better fuel economy. My car has short gearing, I'd rather not be at 3700 rpm to go 65 mph
Also my car is low with crazy stiff suspension, my car feels plenty quick at 55 haha
Just because I drive the speed limit doesn't make me dangerous.
I was pulled over by a sheriffs deputy in a small town on the route from Mexico to the North East U.S. because I fit the profile of a drug runner because I was driving at the speed limit and signaling my lane changes... Nothing like standing in the hot Texas sun while a bunch of armed and dangerous bubbas in cowboy hats are taking your dash apart, beating on your gas tank running a drug dog in and out of the interior and trunk.... I don't think 4500 RPM is hard on the Fit and with the quick braking and handling 90 MPH isn't an unsafe speed if everyone around you is going that speed and not tailgating.... I sometimes get into the right lane and drive below the speed limit if it is safe to do so without impeding the flow of traffic... On 2 lane highways with a shoulder I will pull over to let faster moving traffic get through unless I am driving the speed limit.
New Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 12
From: Merrillville, IN
The ones that get me or the ones riding in the passing lane doing the exact speed limit when there are two lanes to the right that are wide open. If you are traveling slower than the traffic move to the right.
what about, "My [Insert Luxury Car Brand Here] didn't come with lane change blinkers, guy."
I won't let you into my lane unless you signal. so, you can curse into your bluetooth headset till the Oakleys fall off your face douché bag.
I won't let you into my lane unless you signal. so, you can curse into your bluetooth headset till the Oakleys fall off your face douché bag.
Going 5-10 over the speed limit is one thing but anymore than that and I think you need to be the one manueving trough traffic.
Member
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 4,295
From: Wandering around.
There should be no braking/accelerating problems. The drivers in the incoming lane should accelerate up to the speed of traffic, and position themselves alongside the gaps in traffic. Drivers who want to leave the traffic would automatically have a gap form beside them. Switch places as necessary, move on with life. The effect should be more or less like a zipper being joined and separated.
The problem is that it takes just one asshole who won't get up to the speed of traffic to bottle the whole thing. Much like communism, a cloverleaf is a perfect design aside from that whole "humans are involved" bit. Some newer or revamped clovers at least use a side feeder road to keep this jostling from affecting the main driving lanes, but they require quite a lot of space.
The problem is that it takes just one asshole who won't get up to the speed of traffic to bottle the whole thing. Much like communism, a cloverleaf is a perfect design aside from that whole "humans are involved" bit. Some newer or revamped clovers at least use a side feeder road to keep this jostling from affecting the main driving lanes, but they require quite a lot of space.
OMG... I was getting seriously annoyed by this Kia driver earlier. the driver wasn't directly affecting me... but watching him/her made me stay WAY clear on the highway. The driver could NOT for the life of them, stay straight (relative to the lane), always threatening to drift over the line into adjacent lanes. But that wasn't the part that made me nervous. the driver was tailgating the vehicle in front, but doing so by accelerating for about 10 seconds, then slamming on the brakes for 1 second. I'm in the next lane and a bit back, keeping pace while barely moving my foot.
Last edited by Goobers; Dec 14, 2010 at 11:46 PM.
Member
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 422
From: Rhode Island
I hate drivers that don't understand trucks...how it takes them longer to stop, get out of the way in the middle lane because it is their fast lane, let them merge onto the highway because if they stop, it'll take forever for them to start again.
people in general are awful drivers. i drive everyday at least 100 miles and people never cease to amaze me with the stupidity.
people in general are awful drivers. i drive everyday at least 100 miles and people never cease to amaze me with the stupidity.
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